I jerk from unconscious to wide awake in an instant. My heart hammers in my throat. When I swallow I taste a hint of blood. The sheet on top of me trembles with each heartbeat. I hold my breath, willing my pulse to slow to normal, straining to hear any sound that doesn’t belong to the morning. Nothing. I let my breath roll out, unclench my hands, relax my jaw. It was nothing. Just a dream. I roll over in my bed and bump against something that shouldn’t be there—long, solid, cold and covered with blood.
I vote for this one.
This managed to make me tense in a very short span of time and has a nice, satisfying payoff at the end.
1 vote from me, please. =)
Gets my vote too.
I vote for this one.
I like this one too. It quickly gets you into the moment.
As I commented in an earlier paragraph, too many scary stories start off with the MC waking up. I don’t know that I’d rule this one out based on that. Just a commentary on an overused technique.
Also, I’m not certain that this is horror. There aren’t enough clues that make that 100% clear. It could just as easily be a suspense thriller or mystery.
But the writing is tight and it did creep me out.