The Most Important Thing Ever by Michaelbrent Collings

When asked what is the most important skill to learn as a writer, I always say the same thing: turning water into gold.

However, because most people have failed to take their required alchemy classes at the local community college, I often have to start over and come up with something that any ol’ muggle can do.

And that secondary skill, the skill that comes only after the ability to turn base metal into precious, is this: any writer who wants to sell books must know how to create suspense.

“But,” you say, “I am writing a YA fantasy!” Or perhaps, “My magnum opus shall be a romantic comedy in the vein of the great Jane Austen!” Or even, “I just need to make my werewolves sparkle and I’m all good.”

Well, to you folks, I have this to say: WRONG.

Suspense isn’t just something that horror writers or people who write thrillers about whether a nuclear weapon can be stopped en route to its intended target use. Suspense is (and I hope you write this down) the driving force that gets any reader to finish the book.

Suspense is more than just worry about life and limb. There doesn’t have to be a ticking clock, or an oncoming car, or a serial killer looking after someone. Suspense is used to create import in these situations, yes, but suspense is so much more… and so much less.

Suspense, is, quite simply, the creation of a critical question in your readers’ minds: “What happens next?”

My novel The Haunted is a straight-up ghost story. It’s received numerous accolades from readers and critics alike. And the truth is, it’s scary. But the scary is less important than the fact that people stick around to read the whole thing! Because is a scary book really scary if no one cares to read it past page 14?

If you just heard a popping sound, that’s your mind. ‘Cause I just blew it, man.

So remember, no matter what genre you are writing – even if you’re writing nonfiction – the first skill you must master is the creation of suspense. You must tease your readers with information, set up questions that they know only you can answer. And you have to do this from page one on. The worst books aren’t the ones that people hated reading. The worst books are the ones that no one could be persuaded to finish.

Don’t let that be you. Suspense. It’s the only way to write.

Michaelbrent Collings is a novelist and screenwriter. His newest bestseller, APPARITION, is scaring people all over the place. Which is awesome. He hopes someday to develop superpowers, or, if that is out of the question, then at least to get a cool robot arm. You can follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/MichaelbrentCollings or check out his website at http://michaelbrentcollings.com

When the Publisher Says No by Kristen Nelson

[I know of several LDS authors who’ve been dropped—sometimes mid-series—not because their new manuscripts weren’t well-written, but because their books just weren’t selling quite enough for the publisher. What do you do? Digital publishing gives you options. Here’s what a national agency did for one of their authors.]

Maybe a metaphoric “thumbing one’s nose” at a previous publisher? I’ll let you be the judge. In 2005, NLA client Shanna Swendson debuted with a wonderful fantasy chick lit novel called ENCHANTED INC. It was the perfect hybrid between the two genres and the world was introduced to the charming Katie Chandler who is trying to make it in the Big Apple but is so ordinary, she’s extraordinary. She’s so ordinary, magic doesn’t work on her.

Consequently, the small town gal from Texas is recruited by a magical company called Magic, Spells and Illusions, Inc. to be their secret weapon.

Brilliant concept!

Three more novels in the series quickly followed to very solid sales. It used to be you could build an author’s career from there. Nowadays, sadly, it’s known as the dreaded mid-list and authors are often dropped by their publishers.

Much to our dismay, Shanna’s publisher declined to continue buying new books in the series. But get this. Shanna had a foreign publisher who loved the series and it had fabulous sales abroad. So Shanna’s foreign publisher contracted to have her continue writing the series. And she did. Meanwhile, for years I’ve been trying to convince her U.S. publisher to get back on board. No luck. The series still sells well but not well enough for the publisher’s bottom line.

I get it. It’s a business decision on their part. But hey, it’s 2012 and the whole publishing climate has changed. Just because the publisher said NO, doesn’t mean we have to stop. These books are amazing. Shanna can digitally publish them herself. Even have a physical edition available as well.

And that’s exactly what she’s doing!

The long awaited book 5, MUCH ADO ABOUT MAGIC, releases on August 15, 2012.

Rock on!

Kristen Nelson is President and Senior Literary Agent at Nelson Literary Agency. This article was taken from their recent newsletter and posted with permission. To get more great industry news, subscribe to their newsletter.

Villains We Love to Hate by Tristi Pinkston

Like a great many other people, I’ve been watching Downton Abbey recently. Well, not so much watching it as inhaling it. Sure, it has some soap opera elements to it, but I’ve been absolutely fascinated by the interactions between the characters, and how the choices of one person ripple out and affect everyone around them, so much like they do in real life.

There’s one character I absolutely cannot stand – Thomas the footman. From the minute he stepped onto the screen in the first episode, he just … ugh. He’s insolent, prideful, disrespectful, rude, and at times downright evil. I’m sure the actor is a very nice young man, but the character just inspires total hatred in me, and I’m not used to feeling that way. I’m a very loving person as a general rule, but this guy brings out sides of me I didn’t even know I had.

That is the very successful marriage of an excellent actor and an excellent script.

Throughout season one of the show, we basically just hate Thomas all the way through. But in season two, we are introduced to some of his insecurities and some of his fears. We see the things he’s willing to do to survive. These added dimensions make him more real, but rather than lessening our hatred toward him, they make him someone to be pitied, someone who has chosen a life of manipulation to cope rather than trying to do things the right way.

First of all, I have to say this is absolutely brilliant. If I had the chance to speak with the writer of Downton Abbey, (Julian Fellowes) I would soak up everything he had to say about the craft of writing characters. There must be a balance between what we see them do and the reasons why they do it in order to create a well-rounded character that evokes these types of emotions in us. I hate Thomas the footman, but I love Bates the valet. I don’t just dislike one and like the other – my emotional attachment goes much deeper, and it’s the combination of their actions plus their motivations.

Far too often, I see books where the motivation is left out. The character will perform an action of some kind, but we don’t know the reason behind it, and the action either comes across as flat, or it will seem so random that it doesn’t make sense. When we know the motivation behind the action and what the character was thinking or feeling when they did it, the whole thing becomes so much richer.

This is especially true of villains. It’s not enough to know that Bob is setting a bomb to go off in the building. We need to know that his girlfriend is in the building and she’s been cheating on him, and he wants to see her dead. But we also need to know that he was abandoned as a baby by a mother too drunk to care for him and he was rescued from the side of the road by a truck driver, who took him to the authorities. Then Bob was passed from foster care home to foster care home until adulthood, essentially being abandoned by women in his life since the very beginning, and he just can’t take it anymore. Which story is more interesting? Man setting a bomb, or a deeply troubled, tortured soul setting a bomb? And would it help to know that he plans on being inside the building when the bomb goes off so he dies too?

The point is this – when we write a villain, it’s all very well and good to show the evil actions they take. But every evil action has a thought process behind it, a deep emotional need pushing it forward. If you tap into that deep emotional need when you write your villain, you create someone the reader will fear even more because they are so very real.

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I need to go take a nap. I was up far too late last night watching Downton Abbey …

Tristi Pinkston is the author of nine published books, including the Secret Sisters mystery series. In addition to being a prolific author, Tristi also provides a variety of author services, including editing and online writing instruction. You can visit her at www.tristipinkston.blogspot.com or her website at www.tristipinkston.com.

Writing for Children by Rebecca Talley

Many people make the mistake of thinking that writing for children is easier than writing for adults. That’s simply not true.

Children are much smarter than many adults think. They can spot a condescending tone, a sermon disguised as a story, or false notions wrapped in truth. Kids are savvy consumers and definitely know what they like and don’t like to read.

Writing for children demands the same kind of commitment to detail, dedication to research, and smooth writing techniques that adults expect. In fact, writing for children can be even more demanding because of the tight word counts and adherence to vocabulary/comprehension levels.

If you are interested in writing for kids, you might want to consider the following advice:

Spend time with children. You can do this by volunteering at a school, a Boys’ and/or Girls’ club, library, or after-school program.

Get to know the kids. Ask them questions and listen to their answers. Observe the kinds of books they read, the games they play, and the way they speak. Try to discover what issues concern them.

Read. In order to understand the children’s market, you need to be familiar with the books that kids read. Read from a variety of genres to see what is expected in each genre. Learn the vocabulary that populates children’s books and magazines. Determine what issues are acceptable for which age groups. Get a feel for the word count in each category of children’s books.

Share your writing with kids. Ask schools and/or libraries if you can read your story to their kids. You’ll be able to tell what works and what doesn’t when you read your work to your target audience. After you read, ask questions to determine how the kids understood your story. Apply what you learn to your work.

Observe kids. Take a notebook and go to a park. Listen to the kids play. Watch how they react to each other and their mannerisms. Pay attention when you’re at a restaurant, movie theater, or the mall.

Make a librarian your BFF. A librarian can tell you what books are popular, what the kids like to read about, and how they react to specific storylines. Take some time to pick a librarian’s brain and you’ll find she has golden nuggets of information.

Writing for children is as difficult as writing for adults, but it’s also very rewarding. Using your words to create a story that touches the life of a child is one of the greatest rewards of writing.

Rebecca Talley grew up in Santa Barbara, CA. She now lives in rural CO on a small ranch with a dog, a spoiled horse, too many cats, and a herd of goats. She and her husband, Del, are the proud parents of ten multi-talented and wildly-creative children. Rebecca is the author of a children’s picture book “Grasshopper Pie” (WindRiver 2003), three novels, “Heaven Scent” (CFI 2008), “Altared Plans” (CFI 2009), and “The Upside of Down” (CFI 2011), and numerous magazine stories and articles. You can visit her blog at www.rebeccatalleywrites.blogspot.com.

The Much Abused Semi-Colon by Annette Lyon

;

Rampant semicolon abuse is so frequent that I just have to post about it in hopes that maybe one person will stop the mistreatment of the poor mark and give it some respect. Or at least keep it from being so regularly misused.

Let’s start by getting two things clear:
1) A semicolon is NOT a fancy way to show a pause.
2) A semicolon is NOT a colon and therefore is NOT used the same way.

In other words, the following examples are WRONG.

The fancy pause semicolon: Trixie climbed to the top of the high dive; terrified.

The semicolon-as-colon: At home, Jane began her second arduous job; keeping house and caring for her children’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Please don’t do those. Pretty, pretty please?

A semicolon is used correctly when the text on both sides of it can stand alone as complete sentences.

THIS version would be correct:
Trixie climbed to the top of the high dive; she was terrified.

See? Separate the sides:

Trixie climbed to the top of the high dive.
(Complete sentence? Yep.)

She was terrified.
(Yep. That can stand alone too.)

(The fact that you could find a way to show her terror instead of telling it is another post.)

Colons introduce a list or significant information. Usually, that information isn’t a full sentence (although there are exceptions).

Fixing the semicolon-as-colon is way easy. Just replace the semicolon with the colon that should have been there to begin with.

At home, Jane began her second arduous job: keeping house and caring for her children’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Here’s another issue to clarify: semicolons are not the punctuation equivalent of the dodo bird. They are used in contemporary writing, even fiction. Regularly.

Yes, even in fiction.

(Okay, I admit to overusing them at times, to the point of arguing with my editor over keeping some. So I’m a semicolon addict.)

I’ve heard people claim that semicolons belong only in non-fiction, that em dashes should be used instead, at least in fiction.

I disagree. Vehemently. (Me have a strong opinion? Shocker, I know.)

Here’s the thing: semicolons serve specific purposes, and no other punctuation mark can do exactly the same thing. Sure, sometimes an em dash can work, but an em dash gives a slightly different feel and longer pause length than a semicolon.

Now, I don’t advocate throwing in semicolons with abandon, even when used correctly. Too many call attention to themselves, and anything that draws a reader out should be avoided.

But there are some great lines that deserve a semicolon, like when you want a close connection between two sentences. A period can’t do it. Using a comma + conjunction is correct (Trixie climbed the high dive, and she was terrified), but again, that adds a different feel.

(A perfectly fine feel, if it’s what you’re going for, but not a semicolon feel.)

Sometimes the semicolon is the only way to get the rhythm, the pacing, and the tone you want.

This may sound odd to non-word nerds, but a writer who has a great grasp on punctuation is like a conductor leading a symphony. The writer leads the reader along with clear signs for pausing at the right places, speeding up here, slowing down there, emphasizing this part.

Learn to use the semicolon; you’ll thank me.

(Couldn’t resist throwing one in.)

Annette Lyon is a Whitney Award winner, the recipient of Utah’s Best of State medal for fiction, and the author of eight novels, a cookbook, and a grammar guide, plus over a hundred magazine articles. She’s a senior editor at Precision Editing Group and a cum laude graduate from BYU with a degree in English. When she’s not writing, editing, knitting, or eating chocolate, she can be found mothering and avoiding the spots on the kitchen floor. Find her online at blog.annettelyon.com and on Twitter: @AnnetteLyon.

Need a little extra grammar help? Get Annette’s grammar book, There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd.

How to Cheat at your Word Count by Anna Jones Buttimore

You know how it is… you’ve set yourself a goal to write 2,000 words today, and you’ve barely managed 200. Here’s what I did on my work in progress recently to up my word count without actually having to do any of that difficult creative writing stuff.

Put in the chapter divisions. “Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three…” That’s six words right there.

Start each chapter with a meaningful relevant quote. I have used quotes from the scriptures, from philosophers, theologians, saints, writers and presidents. The longer, the better.

Hymn or song lyrics. I’m writing a religious book, and at various stages my characters sing hymns. So I put in all the words they were singing. (Although I’ve since taken them all out again due to copyright issues and the fact that it got boring reading through all six verses.)

Book club questions. This is one of the most fun things to do when writing a book. Think about the issues your book addresses, the changes your characters go through or the moral dilemmas raised, and compose questions which whole rooms full of people who have bought your book (I love book clubs) might discuss. It really gives you a great insight into your own book, too.

Dedication. “To Mum” might only add two words to your word count, but “To my Mother, [full name plus maiden name], who has always believed in me and supported my writing efforts…” really starts to crank out those essential words. Don’t forget to thank her for all those early-hours feeds when you were a baby, too.

Include text boxes, footnotes and endnotes. Add footnotes or endnotes for anything you think readers might not fully understand. Then. in Microsoft Word on the Review tab click “Word Count” and tick the box. I just added 600 words to my WIP by doing this.

Write your author bio. This is fun to do, too, and since it does appear in the book, I think it’s a valid contributor to your word count.

Acknowledgements. Think about who you’ll thank for their help as you wrote the book. Your patient family, alpha and beta readers, proofreaders, line editors, your editor, agent and publisher, supportive friends, cover illustrator and anyone who helped with the research. (I’m terrified of offending someone by leaving them out, so I offend everyone by not ever having any acknowledgements in my books.)

Back cover blurb. Actually I tend to write this first. It gives me an idea of what I’m trying to achieve with the book.

If, after all this, you’re still just two words shy of your goal, here’s what to do. Scroll to the very end of your manuscript and type these two very satisfying words: “The End.”

Anna Jones Buttimore lives in the South East of England with her husband and three daughters. She is the author of five published novels, and works part time from home for a legal charity. Visit Anna at her website, www.annajonesbuttimore.com, or her blog, annajonesbuttimore.blogspot.com

The Scourge of Chubby Writing by Michaelbrent Collings

Let’s talk about our activity levels, shall we?

Obesity, as I’m constantly being reminded every time I turn on my radio, is one of the top problems facing America’s people today. It comes largely from a sedentary lifestyle, a passive engagement in activity.

Okay, then let’s talk about the darker side of that problem: fat writing.

Fat writing, like fat people, suffers from inactivity more than anything. Just as an obese person lives on a diet of junk food, fast food, and various things you can find fried at the county fair, so chubby writing exists on a steady and corroding diet of passive tense. Tossing back any form of “to be” adds ten pounds to your sentence, making it slow and clunky.

Check out these two paragraphs. The first one is from my book, The Haunted, which at the time of this writing is in its second straight month on amazon.com’s bestselling horror:

Then, just as he felt himself about to give in, about to lose himself in the irrational fear (and what other kind of fear was there but the irrational, for rationality fled in the face of terror, the ability to be a thinking human being ran before the onslaught of horror), his fingers felt the cool links of the chain. He grabbed it like a man about to fall off a high cliff would grab a tethering line.

Nice, huh? It moves forward, actively and resolutely. It’s a decent example of perfectly weighted writing. But add just a few junk-food “to be” words, and see what happens:

Then, just as he was about to feel like he was about to give in, about to be lost himself in the irrational fear (and what other kind of fear was there but the irrational, for to be rational was something that would flee if it was faced by terror, the ability to be a thinking human being would have run before terror which was like an onslaught of horror), his fingers were able to feel the cool links of the chain. He was going to hold it like a man who was about to fall off a cliff and was going to grab a line that would tether him.

Wow. Chubby writing. Worse, this writing is downright riddled with lard and excess weight.

Writing should involve the reader. It should activate the reader’s passions, and engage the audience’s senses. This cannot occur if the writer insists on turning verbs into adverbs or nouns by overusing various forms of the word “to be.” Passive writing is good for one thing: to avoid blame. Thus, when my mother burst in on me as a child and asked what had happened to the cookie jar, my answer was, “It was broken.” Not “I broke it.” No. “It was broken.” That way the facts were presented in the dullest manner possible, and there was no specific actor—and thus no one who could be grounded or have dessert rights taken from him.

But though good for avoiding blame for broken cookie jars and (in extreme cases if you are BP) for pumping millions of gallons of oil into otherwise clean water, overuse of passive voice absolutely wrecks prose. Particularly when you are writing a thriller or horror piece, you want your prose to be a driving force, to push the reader from page to page, to grab them and drag them mentally through the book without releasing them for so much as an instant. Your goal should be for your readers’ loved ones to find your readers’ dead bodies, dehydrated, malnourished, and with exploded bladders because they just couldn’t stop reading.

Passive tense doesn’t do that. Passive tense is more like a butler standing at your side as you read and asking in a polite and insistent voice if perhaps you might not be better suited doing something else. Something more active. More interesting. Like fixing the garbage disposal, perhaps. Or going to the bathroom.

You get the picture, right? If not, I’ll just sum it up for you here:

Passive voice = bad.

Active voice = good.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Michaelbrent Collings is a novelist and screenwriter. He has written numerous bestsellers, including The Loon, Rising Fears, and the #1 horror and sci-fi novel RUN. He also writes YA fiction, including the bestselling Billy: Messenger of Powers.

He hopes someday to develop superpowers, or, if that is out of the question, then at least to get a cool robot arm. You can follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/MichaelbrentCollings or check out his website at http://michaelbrentcollings.com

Virtual Book Tours—Becoming the Perfect Host by Tristi Pinkston

Over the course of the last few years, I’ve set up several virtual book tours for authors who are seeking to expand their publicity on the Internet. The concept of virtual touring is fairly new in our market. Publishers or authors send out copies of their books to bloggers who have agreed to read and review those books on a certain date, and then the links are gathered up and posted at a single location. People who want to read the reviews can follow along with the tour and get a good sampling of opinions from several different sources.

I’m frequently asked by bloggers what they can do to make their sites more attractive to the book-buying reader, and how they can increase the likelihood that they will be chosen to host book tours. I’ve put together a few thoughts.

1. Make your blog more visible. The more visible your blog, the more useful it is on a virtual book tour. The purpose of the tour is to expose the name of the book to as many people as possible, but if you only have five followers and you only get ten hits a week, that doesn’t propel the book forward in a meaningful way. You should work to increase your following. One of the easiest ways I’ve found to do this is to visit other blogs and leave friendly comments. The blogger you visit will most likely return your visit, and if they like what they see on your blog, they are likely to come back. (More on this in under Item #2.) In addition, readers who follow that blog will see your name, become curious as to who you are, and follow you back to your blog. Going blog-hopping, as I call it, isn’t just a good way to spread the word about your blog, but it’s a great way to make new friends. I have several good friends I met through blogging that I know in no other way. I was just hopping around one day, ran into them, we hit it off, and have been friends ever since.

One quick note about leaving comments on other blogs. Don’t leave comments like, “Hi, come visit my blog.” That’s not showing respect for the other blogger. You want them to visit you because you have said something of value. You’re not looking for addresses for a mass-mailing—you’re looking for bloggers with interests similar to yours. Be respectful of their time and their blog. That is the basis of a good blog relationship.

2. Make Your Blog Interesting. This sounds like a no-brainer, but your blog needs to be interesting. Blog about several different topics, or, if you specialize, blog about several different aspects of your chosen topic. Include interesting links. Post visually interesting pictures. Perhaps most importantly, post regularly. If you only post once a month, you’re not keeping up the momentum you need in order to create and maintain traffic.

The more you comment and the more you blog, the more visible you become on the Internet. Your name will climb higher on the search engine lists, and that in turn will bring you more readers. It’s like a snowball rolling down the mountain, growing larger as it goes.

3. Make Yourself Accessible. When you set up your blog, make sure that your e-mail address is visible to your readers, and also that when someone clicks on your comment, your blog information comes up. I’ve had several interesting comments left on my blog and I’ve wanted to go see who left them and pay them a return visit, but their profiles are blocked and I can’t. I know that sometimes, people keep that information to themselves out of concern for their privacy, but you can set up your blog with an e-mail address created just for that purpose, and you can set up your profile to be vague as to your location, etc. But it’s crucial that people be able to find you and communicate with you if you’re interested in being a book tour host.

4. Provide Good Reviews. I don’t mean that all your reviews need to be glowing. When I say “good reviews,” I mean, be thoughtful in your evaluation. Give your readers more than just, “I liked this book a lot.” Explain why you liked it and how it made you feel. If there were parts of the book that didn’t work for you, explain why. A good book reviewer shares all their opinions, positive and negative. However, a good book reviewer will phrase their objections constructively. Rather than saying, “This author should be shot before being allowed to publish another book,” say, “The dialogue was poorly constructed and I would have liked to see more character development.” Constructive criticism goes a long way toward helping the author learn and grow. Raking them over the coals doesn’t help anyone—it just makes you look like a big meany. And, if the book is so terrible that you can’t even think of a polite way to state your objections, there is no harm in contacting the publisher or author and explaining that you’d rather pass on the review.

In summary, as you increase your name recognition and bring more readers to your blog, as you provide interesting content overall and make a special commitment to writing good book reviews, you make yourself a perfect host for virtual book tours.

After several years as a professional virtual book tour coordinator, Tristi has retired, but she’s sharing all her secrets with you in her new book, Virtual Book Tours: Harnessing the Power of the Internet.

5-Minute Writing Exercise by Rebecca Talley

Stuck? Writer’s block? Unsure where to go from here on your manuscript? Why not try a writing exercise.

You’ll need:

A timer
A comfortable place to write
A notebook
A writing utensil

Ready?

You may wonder why you need to use a notebook instead of your computer. With the internet at the tip of your fingers, your computer can sometimes be a distraction to your writing because it’s so easy to get online and read email, go to Facebook, or surf the internet. For this exercise, you want to eliminate all distractions. It’s only for 5 minutes—you’ll survive 5 minutes away from the internet. Really.

Choose a pair of the following words:

1. Fire—Fish Tank
2. Hawaii—French Fries
3. Snowstorm—Black Bear
4. Bathtub—Dirty Dishes
5. Horse—Sunset
6. Camping—Lost Puppy
7. Snake—Chocolate Chip Cookies
8. Surfboard—Coconut
9. Basketball Game—Thief
10. Earthquake—Parrot

Have you chosen your words? If none of these word pairs appeals to you, choose your own pair.

Set your timer for 5 minutes.

Now, take your notebook and write, without stopping, until your timer rings. Don’t stop for any reason (unless it’s an emergency). Write whatever comes into your mind and try to connect those two words somehow.

Most importantly, do not edit. This is not the time for correct spelling or grammar. This is simply a time to write. Get it out of your head and onto the paper.

When the timer rings, you may stop. If you want to keep writing, that’s even better.

Once you’ve stopped, you can look over what you’ve written. Maybe it’s drivel or maybe there’s a nugget or two you can use.

Keep doing this exercise until you can do it for more than 5 minutes. Try 10 or 20. The important part of this exercise is to get your brain in writing gear and let your thoughts escape your mind, and your internal editor.

Try it, then leave a comment and tell us how it worked for you. If you post your exercise on your blog, leave a link to your URL.

Department of Redundancy Department by Annette Lyon

Sometimes when I go over a first draft, I run into hilarious problems like dangling modifiers, inconsistencies, and repetition.

One common repitition problem in first drafts is writers repeating themselves by trying too hard to abide by the adage of “show, not tell.”

So they do both: they tell something, then show it. Or vice versa: show it, then recap it by telling what we just saw. I’m guilty of this myself and must weed out repetition from early drafts.

An example:

Sue cried. Plump tears fells down her cheeks as racking sobs wrenched from her throat.

Do we really need to state that Sue cried? The tears and sobs sort of make that self-explanatory, no?

You might think that’s an over-the-top exaggeration, but it’s surprisingly easily for redundancies like that to slip in, even when they sound obvious and funny when they’re pointed out.

Hence our friend: revision!

The other day, I stumbled across a fun blog post that viewed redundancy in a way I hadn’t thought of before: using adjectives and nouns together that say the same thing.

The post is by Scott over at Slice of Diction. He made a list of 30 redundant adjective-noun word pairs. Check out the post link above for the full list.

Here are a couple of my favorites he came up with, each of which make me snicker and go, “As opposed to . . .?”

amorous romance
contentious dispute
cryptic mystery
insane lunacy
rural countryside
stupid idiot
uniquely different

My gut reaction (after laughing) was to think of the flip side: A cool writing exercise would be to find unexpected adjectives, ones that are counter to the noun you put them next to. That could change the meaning or image in surprising and really cool ways.

(Okay, so there’s also the point that a writer shouldn’t over-use adjectives. Note to self: use adjectives only when needed. Make the most out of your writing toolbox.)

Using some of Scott’s words, instead the obvious amorous romance, what about a tempestuous romance?

Or a brilliant idiot?

A peaceful dispute?

Commonly different?
(Reminds me of the “non-conformists” I went to high school with. They refused to conform . . . by wearing black eyeliner, black duster coats, and hair that required Aqua Net to defy gravity. They all looked the same by non-conforming?)

Story and character ideas are already popping up for me simply by thinking of new, unexpected word pairs.

Just for fun, let’s see what we can come up with here!

Think of adjective-noun redundancy word pairs.

In the comments, throw out your best repetitive word pair (be sure it’s adjective + noun).

Don’t forget to go register your comment here, so you’ll be entered to win one of our sponsoring books!

Need a little extra grammar help? Get Annette’s grammar book, There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd.

IT IS WHAT IT IS: The Fallacy of Writer’s Block by Michaelbrent Collings

One of my least favorite things about today’s world is the prevalence of people who say, “It is what it is.”

Forget about the threat of global financial meltdown, skyrocketing teen pregnancy, and the pervasive appeal of the Kardashians—whenever I hear someone say, “It is what it is,” it makes me want to weep and run for the hills.

After punching the person who said it.

I mean, really, what the heck does that even mean? “It is what it is.” Huh? You ever walk up to someone and say out of the blue, “That water sure is wet,” or “I find almost all ice to be cold.” Those make about as much self-defining sense as “It is what it is.”

That being said, there is one area where sometimes you can legitimately say “It is what it is” and actually have it mean something. And that area is writing.

I’ve gotten many emails and personal queries about how to keep writing when the ideas aren’t flowing. As a novelist, I try to get out at least 5,000 words a day. 10,000 is not unusual. I write anywhere from three to eight books a year, along with numerous screenplays, blog entries, short stories, etc. etc. blah blah blah. And they don’t suck, either: my last book, The Haunted, spent almost two months on Amazon’s Horror Bestsellers list (and is still selling quite well), and (I was recently informed) is an official Whitney Awards nominee. So I must be doing something right to get that many people willing to shell out a couple bucks for my work. And when other authors and aspiring authors hear about how fast I work, they want to know my secret.

My secret is simple, and not very secret at all: sometimes you just gotta say, “It is what it is.” By that I mean: most people who suffer from “writer’s block” don’t really suffer from any kind of block. Rather, they suffer from what one of my old writing teachers called the “Poop Bird.” (He didn’t actually call it that, but the word he did use was a naughty one, so I’ll leave it up to you to figure out.)

The Poop Bird is an imaginary creature that sits on many writers’ shoulders and whispers, “That’s no good,” as they type. If it’s your typical PB, he (or she, the Poop Bird comes in many shapes, sizes, and genders) will even try to get a jump on his work by telling you, “That idea is no good,” before you even start typing. This is what most “writer’s block” really is: a self-editing function that insists on a perfect first draft.

This is bupkis. First drafts are supposed to be messy. They’re supposed to need work. That’s why God invented White Out and “delete” keys.

So what’s my secret? What’s the method I use to make sure I get out hundreds of pages when others are still working on an opening paragraph? I’ve killed the PB. I have learned to say, “This isn’t perfect. It’s a first draft. Mistakes are okay.”

In other words, I can look at a word or a sentence or a page and know it needs work and still be okay with it.

Sometimes it’s the time that you put in that matters as much as the quality. Sometimes being a “good writer” means being able to just get mediocre words on the page. Sometimes…

… sometimes, it is what it is.

LDSP: Readers, have you killed your Poop Bird? How did you do it? Tell us in the comments.

Michaelbrent Collings is an internationally bestselling novelist and produced screenwriter who writes primarily horror but also dabbles in YA fantasy and hopes to develop superpowers someday. His next novel, Apparition, will be available soon, and all his books are available at amazon or via his website at http://michaelbrentcollings.com. You can follow him on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/MichaelbrentCollings or on Twitter @mbcollings. Failing that, you can buy a few of his books and help put his kids through college.

The Lowdown on Multiple Submissions by Anita Mumm

Is it okay to query several agents at once? Absolutely. In fact, we recommend it. If you wait to hear back from each agent before approaching another, you could end up waiting months or years for an offer of representation. But there is a protocol to follow. Here are some things to bear in mind as you get ready to launch your volley of submissions.

It’s not necessary to say, “This is a multiple submission,” in your query letter (though there is nothing wrong with doing so). Unless you tell an agent she is your one shot and you can’t possibly see yourself working with someone else, the agent will assume that as a savvy writer you are not putting all your eggs in one basket.

After you send your query, keep agents posted on any major interest you receive for the project. Always check the agent’s website, blog, etc. to learn her preferences, but in general that means an offer of representation; you don’t need to send updates if you get another sample or full manuscript request. Also, if you sent your manuscript to editors before seeking an agent, it’s good to mention this in your query letter, and definitely keep agents posted if you receive an offer of publication.

If you receive an offer of representation from an agent, you have two choices: (1) Let him know that you are waiting to hear back from other agents you submitted to and ask for a reasonable period in which to make your decision—agents hate being forced to read a manuscript overnight. Or (2) decide you want to go with him and accept the offer. Either way, let everyone else know immediately. It’s very frustrating for an agent who has just spent hours reading your manuscript, only to learn that it is no longer available.

Remember that there’s a balance to be found with multiple submissions. Approaching only one or two agents decreases your chance of success, but firing off dozens of queries will only cause headaches as you try to keep track of where you are in each agent’s submission process. Focus on a handful of your top choices, and if they turn you down, go to your Plan B list, and so on. The bottom line is to be courteous and considerate throughout the process—life is unpredictable and you never know when you might be agent hunting again.

Anita Mumm is a Literary Assistant at the Nelson Literary Agency. This post was taken from their monthly newsletter and posted here with permission. To get more great industry news, subscribe to their newsletter.

Traditional vs. Self-publishing is a False Dichotomy by Nathan Bransford

I really like Nathan’s take on this. Go read it!

Us vs. them is fun. It gets people’s blood boiling. It instills fear. It’s thrilling to be on a team, especially when you feel like your team is winning.

These days it seems like traditional and self-publishing are increasingly pitted against each other on blogs and forums, as if one side or the other is the bastion of all that is good and pure in the world and the other side is the bastion of all that is horrible and evil.

This is insane.

There is no “us” vs. “them.” Traditional vs. self-publishing is a false dichotomy. It’s an illusion created by people who either have let their frustrations get the best of them or are trying to sell you something. We’re all writers trying to figure out the best way to get our books to readers. We’re all on the same team.

Read the rest of the article here.

So what do YOU think?

Nathan Bransford is the author of Jacob Wonderbar and the Cosmic Space Kapow (Dial, May 2011), Jacob Wonderbar for President of the Universe (Dial, April 2012) and Jacob Wonderbar and the Interstellar Time Warp (Dial, March 2013). He was formerly a literary agent with Curtis Brown Ltd. and is now the social media manager at CNET. He lives in San Francisco.

Almost Everything You Need to Know about Virtual Book Tours by Tristi Pinkston

Of all the questions I am asked regarding marketing, the first and foremost is: “How do I set up a virtual book tour?” (Well, generally the very first question is, “What the heck is a virtual book tour?”) I decided to take a couple of minutes to answer those questions today.

When you go on a virtual book tour, you have essentially arranged for several different blogs and websites to feature you in some way. They might do a book review, they might interview you, they might just talk about you – but they all do it to help you promote yourself and your book. It’s like going on a book tour from the privacy of your own home, hence the name, “virtual book tour.”

VBTs can help you in many ways.

1. They can help you become more familiar to the hosts of the sites you visit.

2. They can make your name more recognizable to the buying public.

3. They can garner you reviews on your book that otherwise might be difficult to get.

4. The more times your name appears on the Internet, the more special you look. And special = sales.

5. They can drive more traffic back to your blog and your website, helping the reader learn more about you = sales.

So, how to go about setting up a VBT?

A. Talk to your publisher and find out how many review copies of your book they are willing to send out. Some publishers will give a stack of books to the author to mail out themselves, some publishers mail the books for you, and some publishers will give a discount on copies for the author to purchase and then mail out. In fact, some publishers won’t assist in this at all … but we won’t focus on that. Talk to your publisher and find out their rules.

B. Now that you know how many books you can send out, you need to find the right reviewers for you. Go to Google and type in blogs and then your search term. If your books is about shopping malls in the Amazon, put in blogs Amazon shopping malls. Up will come a list of blogs that talk about your topic. Or put in blogs book reviews. Of course you can customize your search in any way you like. Once the list comes up, click on each link and find those blogs that seem to be the best fit for what you’re looking for. Leave a comment to establish a good relationship, and then look for a contact link or the profile link, which will lead you to a way to contact. Politely ask the blogger if they would be interested in hosting your tour, offer them a free book, and thank them for your time. You do not have to pay the blogger for the review – the free copy is their thank-you gift.

C. When the blogger replies to you, establish with them the date upon which their review will appear. You want to spread out your reviews so that the fervor you create will be sustainable – if you schedule them all for the same day, you’ll make a big splash but it will peter out quickly. You should schedule your tour far enough into the future that your publisher has time to mail out the books and the reviewer has time to read their copy. If your book will be in the warehouse on April 1st, schedule your tour for the middle of May.

D. Five days before a review is set to appear, e-mail that blogger and remind them (again politely) and then pop them a note the night before. When their review appears, copy the link and post it on your own blog or website, and invite all your readers to go take a look at it. You can then send your publisher a list of links, and they can link from their website to the review.

These are the basic steps to setting up a blog tour. You can make this as simple or as complicated as you like. I recently did a huge contest in connection with my book release, as did Annette Lyon. Some authors choose to send out books and let them speak for themselves with very little additional hoopla. What you do is up to you. But the Internet is the way many people are doing their shopping these days, and if we take the time to learn how to use it for marketing, we’ll be riding the wave of the future.

Twist that Cliché by Rebecca Talley

Let’s do a fun quiz. See if you can fill in the blanks.

A fly on the _______
Old as _______
At the end of my _______
Nip it in the _________
Many hands make light ________
A stitch in time saves ______
Growing like a ______
Like father, like______
Spitting _____
You can say that _____
Bend over ______
The buck stops _____
Build a better _____
Burn the midnight _____
Get your foot in the _____
Keep your nose to the _____
Laugh all the way to the _____
Making money hand over ______
Swim with the _____
Time is _____
Hope springs _____
On a wing and a _____
Hope against _____

Here are the answers:

A fly on the wall.
Old as dirt.
At the end of my rope.
Nip it in the bud.
Many hands make light work.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Growing like a weed.
Like father, like son.
Spitting mad.
You can say that again.
Bend over backwards.
The buck stops here.
Build a better mousetrap.
Burn the midnight oil.
Get your foot in the door.
Keep your nose to the grindstone.
Laugh all the way to the bank.
Making money hand over fist.
Swim with the sharks.
Time is money.
Hope springs eternal.
On a wing and a prayer.
Hope against hope.

How many did you get right? All of them? Some? None? More than likely, you correctly identified the last word in the majority of the expressions.

Why? Because they’re clichés, worn-out metaphors that have become so common they are meaningless.

At one time, clichés were original ways of expressing an idea, emotion, or thought. Over time, however, people used these expressions so frequently that they became trite.

You want to purge clichés from your writing. Instead of using a well-known expression like “counting your chicks before they’re hatched,” try twisting it. Tweaking a word or two can make a difference. Test your creativity by twisting some of the above examples. Or, better yet, create your own unique expressions.

Be careful that you don’t overdo it with original expressions that distract from your story, but stay away from the “tried and true” statements that “everyone and their mother” has heard “since the dawn of time.”

When “Right” is Twitchy by Annette Lyon

Our local recreation center has a sign on the track that reads, in part, something like:

If you swam, Dry off before going on the track

A good friend e-mailed me about it after twitching all through her three times-a-week runs around that track. She asked if the sign was wrong, because it sounded awkward (especially with “swam”), but she couldn’t think of a better way to say it.

If you set aside the fact that dry shouldn’t be capitalized here, the sign is grammatically correct.

The tenses of swim go like this:

Present tense: swim (This morning, I will swim for thirty minutes.)
Past tense: swam (Last week, I swam ten laps.)
Past participle: had swum (I thought back to the time I had swum with a team.)

So swam is the right form of the word, plain old past tense.

And yet. That sign makes me twitch too.

It’s a great case of when smooth writing and clarity trump “right.” In other words, just because it’s correct doesn’t mean it’s the best way of saying something.

The other day, as I was leaving the rec center, I saw her as she came around the track. “I’ve got it!” she said. “It should say, ‘Dry off after swimming’!”

Ding!

She’s absolutely right. The sign could be rewritten in a number of ways, and that’s a great one. It would not only save room, but be clearer. Her version takes the verb swam and turns it into a noun, swimming.

As you all know, I get all twitchy when things are incorrect, but that doesn’t mean I won’t twitch when they’re correct—but goofy and awkward.

A great writer can take a twitchy (but correct) sentence and mold it, making the end result something others will read and understand without a second thought.

Or a twitch.

Need a little extra grammar help? Get Annette’s grammar book, There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd.

From Page to Page to Screen by Michaelbrent Collings

People often ask me things. Things like, “How can I improve my protagonist’s character arc?” and “Why is it important to have three acts?” and “Could you please stop staring at me? It’s creeping me out.” And those are all good questions. Except the last one. I wasn’t staring at you, I just lose the ability to focus my eyes sometimes.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Questions.

Another question I’m asked occasionally deals with writing novels versus writing screenplays.

I know a bit about both. My novel RUN was amazon.com’s bestselling sci-fi novel for a while. It was also on the bestseller lists for horror and thrillers (it’s a “genre bender”). Another novel of mine, Billy: Messenger of Powers, a fun YA fantasy about a boy who discovers he’s in the middle of a secret magical war that will determine the fate of humanity, has been on numerous Amazon bestseller lists for most of the past year.

And as for screenwriting, well… I’ve had screenplays do very well in numerous high-profile screenplay contests. I’ve optioned screenplays (and if you don’t know what that is, trust me, it’s pretty cool), and been hired to do rewrite work on scripts. I’ve also sold several screenplays, and am a member of the Writers Guild of America (which is statistically harder to get into than major league baseball). So I’ve got some street cred in that world, too.

And let me tell you something: they are different worlds. Some people think that screenwriting would be easier than novel writing. After all, a screenplay only demands about 100 pages of writing (much of which has margins that dramatically cut down on the word count per page), while a novel requires hundreds of pages and tens of thousands of words.

But in reality, I have found that both have their “easy” parts and their “hard” parts, their ups and downs. Novels do require “more” work from the point of view of simple quantity, but they also allow you more leeway to spend time creating a world, to establish a credible narrative voice and reel the audience in. In scripts, you generally have about 200 words to “hook” your audience. After that, they’re just not interested. On the other hand, scripts don’t require you to explain the backstory of every major character in exhaustive detail (though most competent writers will at least have a sound idea what that backstory is).

In sum, both are different kinds of storytelling. I liken them to speaking different languages. It is possible to be fluent in both, but it also takes a lot of effort. That’s why a lot of novelists write atrocious screenplays, and why a lot of screenwriters get bogged down and lost in the mazes of novel-writing.

But it can be done. And why? Because at their heart, both are in service of a common goal: telling a story. Whether on the page, or on the screen (or, in the case of some of my work, on the page of a novel and THEN on the page of a screenplay and THEN on the screen of a theater), the storyteller has one rule: engage the audience in a compelling story that will allow them to have experiences that they could not otherwise have.

I think that’s the great thing about novels and movies: their ability to speak to us, to take us from one place to another in the blink of an eye. To give us the gift of story, the thrill of a tale well-told.

Again, they are different languages. But all languages, at their heart, are about talking, about communicating. And similarly, whether in a book or on the screen, a good story-teller is at the heart of each tale.

Michaelbrent is a bestselling novelist whose books RUN and Billy: Messenger of Powers have been amazon.com bestsellers. He is also a produced screenwriter and member of both the Writers Guild of America and the Horror Writers of America. His blog is at http://michaelbrentcollings.com/blog2.html, and you can follow him on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Michaelbrent-Collings/283851837365 or on twitter @mbcollings.

What’s Hot by Sara Megibow

I took some excellent notes at the [RWA Spring Fling Conference] conference this weekend. Here’s the insider scoop —directly from workshops and the bar. (You have to guess which is actually the better source for “what’s hot” info.)

Middle grade (all kinds—contemporary, historical, paranormal, fantastical). This is fiction aimed at the 10- to 14-year-old reader and runs in the 30,000 to 60,000 word count. Want an example? Follow Stefan Bachmann’s debut for THE PECULIAR at http://scathingjellyfish.blogspot.com.
For contemporary romance, I heard people drooling over cowboys, westerns, and anything with a cat.
Victorian historical romance (historical romance set in the later 1800s instead of the typical Regency time frame of 1814-1816).
Anything and everything funny (like Susan Elizabeth Phillips, and since I’m biased about it, like Tiffany Reisz).

Cheers,
Sara

Sarah Megibow is an Associate Literary Agent at the Nelson Literary Agency. This post was taken from their most recent newsletter. To get more great industry news, subscribe to their newsletter.

Before You Send Your Manuscript Out to Readers (or Publishers) by Tristi Pinkston

So you’ve gotten your manuscript ready to go out to readers. You’re excited because you know how close you are to being ready for submission . . . you’ll get this feedback, you’ll make the suggested changes, and you’re finished, right?

Well, pretty close. But don’t think this step is going to be a piece of cake. That’s a mistake a lot of writers make—they hurry and get the manuscript out to readers before it’s really ready.

Here are some tips to help you get that manuscript as ready for readers as you possibly can—keeping in mind that if you take out the glaring problems now, your readers will have an easier time spotting the more complex problems.

1. Go through and do a search for “was.” Most of the time, when the word “was” is used, you can change it to more of an active voice. Instead of saying, “She was sitting on the porch,” say “She sat on the porch.” This brings your reader into closer contact with the story, and it eliminates the repetitive use of “was.”

2. Go through and do a search for “that.” Most of the time, “that” is used when it’s not needed. “She thought that he’d be there to pick her up at three.” Take it out and see what you’ve got … “She thought he’d be there to pick her up at three.” It’s the same thing, but “that” gets repetitive and makes your sentences wordy.

3. Go through and make sure all your punctuation is still there. I’ve noticed when I edit for people that as they take out words they’ve been told to take out, sometimes the punctuation gets taken along with it, erased accidentally by the cursor being in the wrong place.

4. Go through and take out fully 3/4 of your adverbs. Keep only the ones that are absolutely needed—most are indicated by the context, anyway, and aren’t necessary.

There you have it—four steps to help make your manuscript ready for readers. These aren’t the only things to watch out for—there are many—but these are the most common mistakes and the most common detractors from the story. With these things out of the way, your readers will be able to concentrate on the things that remain and help you polish the story until it shines.

Defining Greatness by Michaelbrent Collings

Some people ask me, “What do you think makes a great book great?”

Some people also ask me if I think polar bears should be allowed to marry penguins. Which tells you what kind of people I hang with.

But back to the other question. The first one. About the writing thing. I guess it’s not too surprising that people ask me things about books. I mean, I AM a writer. My books RUN and Billy: Messenger of Powers have both been bestsellers on amazon.com, I’ve written two movies that are coming out next year, and I’ve been told my birthday cards are to die for. So I do get my opinion asked for fairly often. And, to be frank, even when people AREN’T asking for my opinion… I still give it.

So what DOES make a great book great?

There are a lot of things. But first and foremost, I think, is simply this: a great book is one that people want to spend time with. And I’m not just talking about the time they put in reading it. A great book is one that we think about even when the covers are closed, one whose characters we wish we could meet well after the last chapter has been finished. It’s one that lives within us, and becomes not merely a part of what we have done, but a facet of who we have become.

So how to accomplish that?

Well, according to many high school English teachers, people should read books that they have shoved down their throats with pointy sticks. Sad but true. Sometimes I think that a great many “academics” believe that a book isn’t great unless it’s something that you can only “enjoy” after you’ve spent several years researching the author’s life. Incomprehensibility doubles as ability.

I don’t buy into that.

A great book IS one that lives on, year after year, generation after generation. Fine and dandy. But I also think that a TRULY great book is one that has, not only deep life lessons that transcend time, but also a pure enjoyment factor (and obviously, I’m talking about fiction here). I mean, if you look at Hamlet, it’s not only a classic examination of character, it’s a darn fine STORY, with ghosts, intrigue, thrilling fights, and other “fun” attributes that make it, not just “valuable,” but FUN.

Granted, if you’re looking at a “classic” book that’s been around for hundreds of years, there’s some work to be done. But that’s not because the stories are boring, it’s simply because language changes over time, so you have to be schooled in the way people of that era spoke in order to enjoy what they’re doing and saying. Just like some people don’t enjoy British humor, not because the English aren’t funny (because they are), but because they don’t understand that culture enough to GET the jokes. So there are legitimate examples of “great” literature that you have to prep for. But at their root, truly great books are an entertaining read.

I can remember, when writing RUN (a suspense/horror/thriller novel), I devoured a lot of Dean Koontz and Stephen King books. Similarly, when I was working on Billy: Messenger of Powers (a young adult fantasy), I read J.K. Rowling, Brandon Mull, and James Dashner. Some people actually asked me why I would “waste my time” on such “popular” fare. And the way they said “popular” it was clear they really meant to say “worthless.”

But I disagree. I think that “popular” is a valuable indicator of greatness in art. After all, what is Great Expectations but a book that has remained “popular” for centuries? What is The Three Musketeers but a book that has a story so fun that it has found an audience year after year after year?

Now, that’s not to say that I think everything that is popular is great. There are some books that are incredibly popular that are shallow, trite drivel. But those kinds of things don’t tend to STAY popular. They’re flashes in the pan. A moment where lighting is caught (perhaps accidentally), but cannot be contained.

The “greats” on the other hand, truly captivate us. They reach across time and space to do something that we as humans have sought after since man first began to communicate: to tell a story.

And the better the story, the “greater” the book.

Reflexives!! by Annette Lyon

Thought that maybe if I put lots of exclamation points in the title, that reflexives would sound exciting!

Did it work? 🙂

Lara from Overstuffed brought up a funky English quirk with reflexive pronouns. I tried to dig around and ferret out the reason for the quirk, to no avail. So instead of explaining the history of the quirk, we’ll just discuss it!

Before we get to the quirk:

What the heck are we talking about?

Reflexive pronouns are ones where an action is being performed on the subject by the subject. For example:

Tommy can feed himself now.
While making dinner, Alicia accidentally cut herself with a knife.
They looked at themselves in the mirror.
You can help yourself to a drink.

And so on.

It’s important to use reflexive pronouns when they’re called for. Why? Because without them, you can create sentences that are grammatically correct but totally confusing.

The following sentence is from above but without the reflexive pronoun:

While making dinner, Alicia accidentally cut her with a knife.

See the confusion?

Did Alicia accidentally cut her sister or neighbor or some other female (her) in the kitchen? Or did Alicia cut Alicia? (Did she cut herself?)

Similarly:

They looked at them in the mirror.

We potentially have two groups. The group that is looking and the group that is reflected in the mirror. Or are they the same group? If it’s the same group, a reflexive pronoun takes away the ambiguity:

They looked at themselves in the mirror.

Are we clear on the basics of reflexive pronouns?
(I hope?)

Then let’s talk about the funky quirk!

All reflexive pronouns add “self” or “selves” to the end of another pronoun.

Some tack self/selves to the possessive form:

I / my / myself
we / our / ourselves

But other reflexives take the objective form:

he / him/ himself
(possessive form would be hisself)

their / them/ themselves
(possessive form would be theirselves)

We all know that hisself and theirselves are INCORRECT.

(We all know that, right? Please tell me you aren’t saying theirselves or hisself. My twitching eye thanks you.)

But I’d really like to know the reason behind it. Why do we say myself and ourselves but himself and themselves?

It’s just one more of ten thousand or so ways that English makes no sense whatsoever.

But we love it anyway.

Need a little extra grammar help? Get Annette’s grammar book, There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd.

He Said, She Said: Dialogue Tags by Rebecca Talley

Many new writers complain that using “said” is too boring. They want to liven up their writing with new and different tags. The problem with using tags other than “said” is that 1) they call attention to themselves and draw the reader out of the story, and 2) they tell instead of show.

For example:

“You can’t mean that,” she shouted.
“But, I do,” he laughed.
“How can you be so cruel?” she questioned.
“It’s easy,” he intoned.
“I thought you loved me,” she cried.
“Never,” he exclaimed.
“But I love you. Please give me another chance,” she begged.
“Not interested,” he declared.

So what do you think? Don’t those tags call attention to themselves? Wouldn’t it have been easier to read if I’d used “said” instead? “Said” is a tag that virtually disappears. Readers don’t stumble over it. You can occasionally use, “asked” or “replied,” but do so sparingly.

The main problem with these tags is how they tell the reader what is going on in the story as opposed to showing what’s happening. This exchange seems to be between two people who are dating. A better way to show that dialogue might be:

“You can’t mean that,” she said as she brushed a tear from her cheek.
“But, I do.” He stepped to the side and she could hear a muted laugh.
“How can you be so cruel?”
“It’s easy.” He turned to face her, his expression void of emotion.
She swallowed the lump forming at the back of her throat. In a soft voice she said, “I thought you loved me.”
“Never.” The intensity of his voice startled her.
“But, I love you. Please, give me another chance.” She reached her hand out toward him.
“Not interested.”

How’s the second example? Does it show you more of what’s going on with these two people?

You don’t always have to use a dialogue tag if the reader knows which character is speaking. When you do use tags, make sure you use the invisible “said” for most of them.

Shameless Self-Promotion by Tristi Pinkston

LDSP Note: I am sooo tired of having to hunt down authors, only to get to their blog or website and find no mention of their books. At all! (And yes, I know I’m at the right place.) So I tracked down this article by Tristi Pinkston. Take it to heart people!

We’ve all heard the term “shameless self-promotion.” I’ve used it myself quite a bit. Today I want to get on my soap box a little bit. You don’t mind, right? I mean, that’s sort of the theme of my whole blog… “Tristi on her soap box.” If I were ever to change the title of my blog, that’s what I would use.

Self-promotion is absolutely crucial to every form of business. It doesn’t matter if you’re a car salesman, or if you work in a clothing store, or if you are a make-up girl, or if you are a construction worker. In each of those jobs, you are selling yourself—your skills, your experience, your know-how. You are presenting yourself in such a way that your employer and your customer can feel confident in you and the job you are going to do. Filling out resumes, going for interviews, meeting with prospective clients—these are nothing more than selling yourself and your abilities.

When you write a book and enter the big, bad world of marketing, you’re doing exactly the same thing you’ve done every time you’ve entered the work force. You’re informing people of a skill or ability you possess.

Let me ask you a question. Say you’re in the middle of a job interview, and you are asked, “So, I hear you’re good at typing.” Would you answer, “Oh, I don’t know about that. That other applicant you just had in here is a lot faster.” Or would you say, “Yes, I’m pretty fast.” It’s a pretty simple choice to make, isn’t it?

So why do we downplay our writing? Why do we feel that we need to apologize when it comes to talking about our books? We say “shameless self-promotion” as though perhaps, at some point, we might have felt the need to feel ashamed, but we’re going to shake that off for a second. There is no need to ever be ashamed of the product you have produced as long as you know you did your very best on it. If you turned out something you know wasn’t up to your potential, then you can make a decision to do better next time. But “shame” is not something that should ever be associated with something you created that came from your gut. If you really, really are ashamed to admit that you did it, then… why did you do it?

Now that we’ve talked about the “shame,” let’s talk about the “self-promotion.” Go back to the analogy of the shoe salesman. A woman walks into his shop and says, “Hi, I need a pair of shoes.” He pauses. Should he say something? What if he shows her a pair and she says she doesn’t want them? He would be crushed. Humiliated. Rejected.

Um … no, he’s going start showing her shoes, right? Of course. That’s his job. And it’s your job as a new author to talk about your books. He has shoes to sell, you have books to sell. If someone doesn’t buy your book, it doesn’t have to be a devastating thing—it just means that those shoes didn’t fit. Someone else with feet of a different size will soon come into your life, or your shoe store, and you’ll be able to make that sale.

So, let’s encapsulate my little lecture.

1. Stop being ashamed to talk about your books!

2. Stop feeling as though you have to apologize!

3. Get some confidence—talk about your book in an upbeat, positive way. Let other people know it exists.

4. Never downplay your accomplishments. Don’t say, “Well, it’s just a little story about…” No! Smile and say, “It’s a great story about…”

Self-promotion is hard. It’s hard to get up the courage, it’s hard to know what to say, it’s hard to find that balance between talking about yourself and coming on too strong, and it’s also hard to know when you shouldn’t bring up your books (and yes, there are times when you don’t want to promote, generally in times of social politics, but that would be a blog for another day). You can learn how to master all of these skills, but you’ve got to practice them, and regularly. Hiding behind pillars and potted plants will not make you a master of self-promotion—you’ve got to get out there and do it, and you’ll find your own stride and what works for you. And if you’re interested, here’s another post I wrote on this very same topic.

All right, then! Go promote yourself, and let me see you stop saying the word “shameless!” It should all be shameless!

Mormon Lit Blitz (Guest Post)

“We must read, and think, and feel, and pray, and then bring forth our thoughts, and polish and preserve them. This will make literature.”—Orson F. Whitney

Fifty years ago, most schools taught that making literature was a matter of combining great language and universal human values. Since then, millions of readers have decided that context also counts: that it’s nice to get our grand human dilemmas through the lens of very specific cultures with their unique values, traditions, tensions.

Mormon Artist magazine is hosting the Mormon Lit Blitz, an online literary contest organized by James Goldberg and Scott Hales. We believe that Mormon experience is rich enough to inspire engaging poems, stories, and essays—and are ready to offer thirteen pieces as proof.

From March 1st to March 15th, readers may vote for the pieces they like best, and the author of the winning piece will be awarded a Kindle loaded with works of Mormon literature. Instructions for voting can be found here.

[LDSP Note: As with my short story contests, please vote for the piece you like best, not for your friends.]

The thirteen pieces featured in the contest were selected from almost two hundred entries from four different countries. They were written to appeal broadly to Latter-day Saint audiences, particularly committed members of the Church. However, the judges were careful to select artistic works that avoided the cheesiness and preachiness that people often associate with Mormon literature.

We hope you will enjoy the Mormon Lit Blitz. Please support the finalists by reading their work and voting for your favorites.

Finalists
Marilyn Nielson’s “In Bulk,”

Wm Morris’s “The Elder Who Wouldn’t Stop,”

Jeanna Mason Stay’s “No Substitute for Chocolate,”

Emily Harris Adams’ “Second Coming,”

Sandra Tayler’s “The Road Not Taken,”

Merrijane Rice’s “Stillborn,”

Kathryn Soper’s “Oil of Gladness,”

Emily Debenham’s “The Shoe App,”

Deja Earley’s “Cada Regalo Perfecto,”

Kerry Spencer’s “The Gloaming,”

Jonathon Penny’s “Babel,”

Jeanine Bee’s “The Hearts of the Fathers,”

Marianne Hales Harding’s “Red Rock.”

You can stay updated on the Mormon Lit Blitz by liking it on Facebook (here), following it on Twitter (here), and/or subscribing to the Mormon Artist blog (http://feeds.feedburner.com/MormonArtist).