2008 Christmas

Christmas 13: Santa’s Gift Card

December 14, 2008

Christmas was not on my mind when I decided I needed to go back to college to get a better job. I applied for financial help and received a grant to college in another state. Jennifer and I prayed about our decision and knew it was the right one. The move was hard. It was […]

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Christmas #12: Christmas in Littleton a la A Child’s Christmas in Wales

December 11, 2008

Christmas was magical in those days. [what days? even though it’s in the title, you need to establish the time and place within the story.] We would rise around eight, the sun out but hovering beneath a layer of clouds, the snow glimmering dimly in the pale light. The children were easier to wake than […]

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Christmas #11: A Lesson from Sylvester

December 11, 2008

Sitting at the foothills of the mountains, life in the small town wasvery laid-back and unhurried. Neighbors visited in the streets,discussing the events of the world happening so far away. Childrenplayed kickball on summer evenings, and the park was always filled withyoung boys playing baseball. Everyone was concerned about theirneighbors and willingly helped them when […]

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Christmas #10: Untitled

December 10, 2008

You have to have a title. Even thought it might be changed, never submit without a title. “Did you just hear what I just heard?” The chickens clucked to each other as they scrabbled in the yard for bits of food.[paragraph]“It’s going to happen tonight just down the lane at that old stable,” a matronly […]

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Christmas #9: Too Old For Santa

December 10, 2008

“Michael? That thing of yours is broken.” Michael looked down at his little brother. Usually it was cute, the way Trent said his name. My Coal. It wasn’t so cute now. “What’s broken?” He kept everything that Trent could break up on his bunk bed. What could Trent have gotten his little hands on? “That […]

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Christmas #8: A Christmas Present for Willow

December 10, 2008

Stella paced the small apartment. She didn’t have a Christmas present for her daughter, and she was flat broke. Recently she had a job doing homecare duties for an elderly lady who had a stroke, but that had come to an abrupt end when her client fell down and broke her hip. Now she found […]

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Christmas #7: The Choir Practice

December 10, 2008

Julie decided to leave Choir Practice [not capitalized]. She had found [passive] it impossible to sing that day without breaking into tears. It was only two weeks until the ward choir would sing the Christmas Cantata in Sacrament Meeting [don’t think it’s capitalized. Check the LDS Style Guide], and she . She knew that they […]

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Christmas #6: The Lamb and the Light

December 10, 2008

Marney‘s was so excited! Her[don’t tell us, show us] little heart was beating [beat; avoid passive voice] in anxious delight as she was helping [helped; passive] her mother trim the tree and decorate the house. She held the figure of a little lamb tightly in her fingers so she wouldn’t drop it. “Don’t squeeze the […]

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Christmas #5: Black Friday

December 9, 2008

“It’s time for bed, Wolfgang. We have to get up real early to get in on all the deals tomorrow,” Beverly yelled from downstairs with an urgent tone. [Need some identification of who Wolfgang is—her son? brother? dad? the dog? If it’s not the dog, change his name.] She tapped her foot anxiously as she […]

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Christmas #4: Cricket’s Gift

December 9, 2008

There would be no snow for Christmas this year. The winter was far too warm to allow it. Cricket sat alone outside his doorstep. He watched many [the other] animals scurrying back and forth on the roadside in front of his home. Field Mouse must have been preparing a great feast. He was running in […]

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Christmas #3: The Most Perfect Christmas

December 8, 2008

I’m assuming, from the use of quote marks, that this first part is a conversation between two people, who we later learn are Dave and Dave. But this initial conversation is too confusing. You don’t have to completely identify both speakers, but you do need some tags to make it clear that you’ve got two […]

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Christmas #2: Empty Arms

December 8, 2008

“Come on, honey. We’re going to be late.” I ignored my husband and continued shoving laundry into the washing machine. I knew Jason wanted to go to the ward Christmas party like we had every year since we’d been married. But I couldn’t take one more evening of Christmas carols and ho ho ho’s, or […]

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Christmas Story Contest Reminder

December 5, 2008

We haven’t had many submissions for the Christmas Story Contest. I have a few that will be posted next week, but not quite enough to make a contest out of it. Remember, Saturday, December 13th, is the last day to submit for the contest. For more details, click HERE. Please spread the word—send emails to […]

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Christmas #1: Angel’s Song

December 4, 2008

Jacob almost wheezed as he set his heavy burden next to the dry-stone fence at the top of the grassy knoll. He glanced behind himself to be sure neither of his dogs had followed. As far as Jacob could tell by squinting, the dark specs [specks] he assumed were sheep dogs still slept in shade […]

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